Wishful Thinking
by rubirosemari
Summary: Harry is deeply depressed after the Department of Mysteries fiasco and doesn't know what to do with himself. Then, though Fawkes offers Harry the chance to go exactly one year back in time, doing his OWL year all over again, saving Sirius and better preparing himself for the battles that lie ahead. Obviously Harry jumps at the chance.


**Wishful Thinking**

**Chapter 1: Grant A Wish **

Fifteen year old Harry Potter wandered glumly around the halls of Hogwarts. It had been two days since the Department of Mysteries fiasco and, not wanting to see anyone, Harry had spent most of the time since then just aimlessly wandering the, mainly disused, upper levels of the castle. Harry knew that he should be with the friends that had followed him to the Ministry, two of whom were still lying injured in the hospital wing, but he couldn't face them. Harry knew that they would try and comfort him and, while they meant well, none of them except possibly Neville could truly understand Harry's grief. Besides, Harry was already struggling with guilt over his godfather. He didn't think he could handle the guilt over his friends' injuries as well.

Harry didn't know what to do with himself anymore. For the last two years the promise of an eventual home with his godfather was what had sustained him through long summers with the Dursleys. This summer he would have no such comfort, especially not if the Dursleys found out that Sirius was dead. For the last two years the Dursleys' treatment of him hadn't been as bad because they thought he had a convicted mass murderer godfather that could turn up at the drop of a hat. On top of that, presuming he survived the summer, Harry had the prophecy to deal with. He didn't think that he'd ever be able to forgive Professor Dumbledore for keeping the prophecy a secret for so long. Yes, as the old man claimed, knowing sooner would have impacted his _childhood _but at least then Harry would have had a chance to prepare himself. As it was now Harry had no idea how he, a barely passable OWL student, would ever be able to kill Voldemort; something that not even Professor Dumbledore, the greatest wizard in the world, had ever been able to do.

With a flash of flame Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix familiar, appeared in the corridor. He swooped along the corridor, next to Harry. _'So young to have suffered so much,' _Harry heard someone say.

Harry looked up and down the corridor but saw nobody but the phoenix and himself. "Fawkes?" he asked, shocked.

Fawkes trilled melodically and, to Harry's surprise, nodded his head. _'Things could have been so different. Things should have been different.' _

"Yes, I wish that things could be different but what can I do about it?" Harry asked bitterly. "It's done. Nothing can change it."

Fawkes trilled again. _'What if it could be changed?' _

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

_'A second chance,' _Fawkes said. _'A do-over of sorts. If you wish it I will send you back in time exactly one year, still retaining, however, the memories of the year that has just been.' _

Harry's jaw dropped, his guilt and grief giving way to shock. "I could save Sirius!"

_'Exactly,' _Fawkes said. _'And you would have a chance to start preparing yourself for the battles that lie ahead.' _

"I'd have been preparing myself for years already if it weren't for Professor Dumbledore," Harry said bitterly.

Fawkes trilled dolefully. _'My bonded means well. He truly does. Sometimes, however, he forgets to think about the feelings of the people around him instead of just his wellbeing.' _

"Wellbeing," Harry snorted bitterly, thinking of the years he'd spent with the Dursleys at Dumbledore's behest. "Yeah right."

_'Albus does truly love you,' _Fawkes said. _'When you start your do-over first tell your godfather everything, then, approach my bonded together. Tell him everything about the last year, especially the fact you know about the prophecy. Things will be very different then, for both you and your godfather.' _

"So you really can send me back in time?" Harry asked hopefully.

_'Of course I can,' _Fawkes said.

"Why are you doing this?" Harry asked. "I doubt this is something Dumbledore would approve of and he's your companion, not me."

_'Albus is my companion now,' _Fawkes said. _'After he passes on, though I have chosen you to be my next bonded.' _

Harry's jaw dropped in shock again. His first instinct was to ask why Fawkes would choose to bond with him. After all, he was nobody special. Was he really worthy enough to be bonded with a phoenix? Then, though he remembered how Fawkes had helped him in the Chamber of Secrets and comforted him after the catastrophic end of the Triwizard Tournament. There had always been a strange sort of connection between them, right from the time Harry first met Fawkes in second year. Maybe the idea wasn't so far fetched after all. "Oh my god."

_'So you agree, young one?' _Fawkes asked. _'You agree to go back in time?' _

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed desperately. A dark future still lay ahead for Harry whatever he did but doing the last year all over again might make it a little less grim. "Please, I'll do anything."

_'Very well, young one,' _Fawkes said. _'I wish you the best of luck.' _

The phoenix began to sing, somehow causing Harry to grow tired and his limbs to grow heavy. That was the last thing he knew.

When Harry regained awareness he found himself lying in bed with Mrs Weasley, Ron and Hermione fussing over him. He could also see Ginny, Bill, the twins and Professors Dumbledore and Snape in the background. With a jolt Harry realized that he was 14 years old again, in the hospital wing in the tragic aftermath of the final task of the Triwizard Tournament. Harry regretted the fact there would be no chance of saving Cedric Diggory but, catching sight of the great black dog curled up by his knees, Harry soon pushed that out of his mind. "Sirius!" he breathed, paying attention to nothing and nobody other than his godfather.

"What was that, Harry, dear?" Mrs Weasley asked gently.

Sirius, still in his animagus form, looked questioningly at Professor Dumbledore. The old man nodded. "Yes, there is much to be done. Sirius...if you could resume your usual form."

The great, black dog turned back into a man and Mrs Weasley screamed in fright, leaping back from the bed. "Sirius Black!" she shrieked, pointing at him.

"Mum, shut up!" Ron yelled. "It's okay!"

Snape had not yelled or jumped backward, but the look on his face was one of mingled fury and horror. "Him!" he snarled, staring at Sirius, whose face showed equal dislike. "What is he doing here?"

"He is here at my invitation," said Dumbledore, looking between them. "As are you, Severus. I trust you both. It is time for you to lay aside your old differences and trust each other." Harry thought that Dumbledore was asking for a near miracle. Sirius and Snape were eyeing each other with the utmost loathing. "I will settle, in the short term," said Dumbledore, with a bite of impatience in his voice, "for a lack of open hostility. You will shake hands. You are on the same side now. Time is short and unless the few of us who know the truth do not stand united there is no hope for any of us."

Very slowly - but still glaring at each other as though they wished the other nothing but ill - Sirius and Snape moved toward each other and shook hands. They let go extremely quickly. "That will do to be going on with," said Dumbledore, stepping between them once more. "Now, I have work for each of you. Fudge's attitude, though not unexpected, changes everything. Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher - the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while; I will contact you there."

"No!" Harry intervened, jumping out of bed and throwing his arms around his godfather.

He remembered, a year earlier, not wanting Sirius to leave. He hadn't wanted to say goodbye again so soon. He'd also wanted the comforting presence of the only person he considered family. That was still true, on some level, but Harry had had a year to come to terms with the tragic end of the Triwizard Tournament. Now Harry wanted, _needed, _Sirius to stay for entirely different reasons.

For his part Sirius looked shocked by Harry's unprecedented display of affection and conflicted about Harry's desire for him to stay when he needed to be out doing work for the Order. "You'll see me very soon, Harry," Sirius said earnestly. "I promise you. But I must do what I can, you understand, don't you?"

"No," Harry said firmly, not wanting Sirius to do this particular job for the Order for two separate reasons. One, he wanted to tell his godfather about his trip in time right away and, two, Harry suspected that the shock of having a wanted fugitive turn up on their doorsteps was what had started a lot of Order members' bad blood towards Sirius. He turned to the headmaster. "Professor, considering most of 'the old crowd,' as you put it, believe Sirius to be a traitor to the Order and a mass murderer do you really think it's a good idea for him to go and recruit them again? Wouldn't it make more sense for someone like you or Professor McGonagall to go?"

Everyone looked at Harry, who was still yet to let go of his godfather, curiously. "You know about the Order, Harry?" Professor Dumbledore asked sharply.

Harry nodded, making sure to avoid eye contact with both Professor Snape and the headmaster. He wasn't sure if either of them would be bold enough to use legilimency on him but Harry didn't want to take the chance. "I do," he said, not offering any more information.

"Harry, I must ask you whether you have told me everything," Professor Dumbledore said. "It is important that I have all the facts."

"Sir, I promise you that I have told you everything that happened tonight," Harry said. "I do have some other information for you, though. Before I tell you, however, I need to talk to Sirius about it urgently and privately. The two of us will talk to you after that."

Snape, of course, had to insert his bitter vitriol. "Arrogant boy," he sneered at Harry. "As if you're qualified to decide who gets to know what information. You should reveal everything you know and then let your betters, of which I assure you there are many, decide what to do with it."

"Snape!" Sirius growled, furious at the insult to his godson.

"Ignore him," Harry whispered, hugging his godfather harder. He didn't think that he would ever forgive the potions master for the disastrous occlumency lessons or, especially for his roll in the Department of Mysteries fiasco. Harry just didn't have the energy to deal with the hateful man's rubbish, though. Snape frequently accused Harry of being childish but it was really him that was immature, still holding onto a two decade long grudge against a dead man. Harry wasn't going to pay the man any attention anymore, though. "He's not worth it."

"Harry, if you know something, I must insist that you tell me," Professor Dumbledore said. "It might be important."

"It is," Harry nodded. "But my instructions are to talk to Sirius first and then for the two of us to talk to you."

Professor Dumbledore gave Harry a long, searching look. "Fine," he finally said, nodding.

"Headmaster, you can't be serious!" Snape predictably protested. "The brat is hardly..."

"Severus, enough!" Professor Dumbledore said sharply. "Did I not, mere minutes ago, speak to you about the importance of those of us who know the truth standing united? Now, you know what I must ask you to do. If you are ready...if you are prepared."

"I am," said Snape. He looked slightly paler than usual and his cold, black eyes glittered strangely.

"Then good luck," said Dumbledore, watching apprehensively as Snape swept out of the room. It was several minutes before Dumbledore spoke again. "I suppose it would make more sense for me to contact the Order," he conceded. "Is it just your godfather you need to speak to, Harry?"

"For now," Harry nodded. The year after the Triwizard Tournament had taught Harry how secrets had the ability to ruin everything and tear people out forever. Eventually, he would also tell Ron and Hermione about the extra year he'd lived but, for now, he was determined to follow the instructions Fawkes had given him about informing Sirius and Professor Dumbledore before everyone else. "We'll talk to you later."

"Very well," Professor Dumbledore said, looking at everyone else in the hospital wing. "If you could clear the room, give Harry and Sirius some privacy."

Mrs Weasley looked uncomfortable about leaving Harry alone with a convicted criminal but she wilted under the sharp look that Professor Dumbledore gave her. When they were alone, Sirius lowered himself onto Harry's bed, seeming to realize that his godson wasn't going to let go of him anytime soon. "What's going on, kiddo?"

"Oh, you have _no _idea," Harry said, laughing slightly insanely. He was only just beginning to comprehend that he really had gone back in time and the thought was overwhelming. He had the potential to make the next year _so _much better but it was a huge responsibility on his shoulders. "I don't even know where to begin."

"The beginning's generally a good place to start, kiddo," Sirius joked gently.

"Yes," Harry said. "The beginning."

Thanks to Fawkes Harry had gone back to the beginning of the year and the ending was going to be _so _much better this time.

* * *

Underlined Text taken directly from JKR's 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' Chapter 37


End file.
